The Need to Weed

We finally had a break in an unusual season of rain. Living here in California, we don't see this much rain. As a native Californian, I never remember this much.  But all this rain sure does cause the weeds to grow. It was time to do some weeding. Just a week ago we had 4 days of rain in a row.  This combination of rain and sun caused the weeds to "grow like weeds." The photo to the left was a weed growing in my hydrangea flower pot, key word "was."

Often, God has used gardening to teach me things about life. Weeds seem to be what He uses the most. Pulling weeds is a position of humility. Most of the time, I'm on my knees in a position of bowing. I thought about that as I worked to get rid of these pesky plants that try to camouflage themselves with the flowers and bushes. After a while, I got to the point I didn't care if I couldn't get to the root. I just wanted the flowerbed to look neat.

That's when I realized that sometimes the issues we struggle with are like those weeds. We can pull them today, but in this world of "dirty water," it's likely new weeds will grow. But what God really showed me was when I didn't pull the root, I left the flower bed vulnerable to not only growing back, but growing back more quickly. If we don't deal with the root of our struggle, then it's going to keep popping up. Just when you think your heart is cleared out, then out of the blue, something happens that stirs up an emotion. In the past, rather than pull it, I end up going to food, my comfort and then I start to feed the weed. 

This might be a good opportunity to do some heart weeding. Take some time this week to search your heart. Psalm 139:23 & 24 says "Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me, and know my anxieties; 24 And see if there is any wicked way in me, And lead me in the way everlasting." Write down what those hurts and anxieties are. You may not discover all of them right now, but try to write as many of them down on a separate sheet of paper. Then hand them over to God and forgive them and bless them. Then tear the sheet of paper up and throw it away. I can't tell you how much this helps. It's a physical way of letting go of something you can't hold in your hand.

I pray this week would be the beginning of feeling some freedom. I pray this week you see the scale move down a few pounds. This kind of emotional weight can be heavy and when you release it, you will feel lighter in your soul. The more often you weed, the easier it is to weed the next time.

The Weight of Unforgiveness

I've often heard that unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. This past June, I realized I needed to lose some weight. Weight loss is hard for me as I know it's a mind thing. I asked the Lord how I should go about this. He showed me that the weight I was carrying was really caused by emotional eating and that I needed to find the root cause of my emotional eating. As I discovered, it was dealing with past hurts over my life. (And I'm talking way back in my life) Every time I face a hurt or challenge in life, food was my friend. It never left me nor forsook me, literally!

I began working on a mind-change and at the beginning of each week, I would ask the Holy Spirit to show me what I needed to work on. As I did this and dealt with the unforgiveness in my heart, the weight began to come off.

Since my dad passed, I've hit a wall and even though I am still exercising and eating better, it just doesn't seem to budge. Yesterday, as I was walking and praying, the Holy Spirit showed me something that I never realized. These past few months, some of the things that I thought I dealt with have seem to creep back in. I asked the Lord why am I still struggling in these areas if I have forgiven them? It was then the light turned on! He replies back to me in that gentle still small voice, "it's because you haven't blessed them." I can't begin to tell you how it all made sense to me. As I walked, I began to speak out loud, blessing those who I have grieved over. But even more importantly, I had to speak forgiveness and blessing over myself. I often disappoint myself by not doing what I know I should. It was amazing how the weight on my soul literally lifted. I could feel it and the freedom I felt was overwhelming! Proverbs 25:21 says "If you see your enemy hungry, go buy him lunch; if he’s thirsty, bring him a drink. Your generosity will surprise him with goodness, and God will look after you." (The Message)

Let me encourage you today, if you have any unforgiveness toward someone, in your heart, forgive them and then speak out loud blessing over them. You will be amazed at the freedom you will feel physically! Pray this prayer "Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. 24 See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." Psalm 139:23-24 I've discovered forgiveness and blessing go hand in hand in healing! AMEN!

Fasting Fences and Dirty Water

So how are you doing? I am not going to lie, I have had a few challenges that have triggered some emotion. When I began this round of weight loss, I was in a fast with my church. It seemed a bit easier to deal with eating during my fast. The fast helps to create boundaries. Especially when fasting with others. There's an accountability that helps.

One of the scriptures I meditate on is Romans 12:2 about renewing the mind. My husband did a series once on this passage which opened up our eyes to another twist on this scripture. It begins with "Do not be conformed to THIS WORLD..." The key words being "this world." In the church, we've been taught that the world is "out there" and it's all the morally bad stuff, which yes, this is true. In the Beth Barone study on Pure Love, she calls the worlds way "dirty water." For example if you took a fish and had to choose whether it could exist in dirty water or outside of the fish bowl, the answer would be in the dirty water. Fish can't exist without water, right? We can't remove ourselves from the chaos of this world so rather than change, we conform to it. It's easier, but most often there are consequences that become apart of who we are. But the twist in this scripture is this world being "our world" the one that we create to justify ourselves. For example, I'll use my own experience. There are people in my life who have challenged my abilities to do things and now I lack confidence in certain areas. Rather than work through it and prove to myself I am able, I have settled believing that's just me. Therefore, I give myself permission to be ignorant rather than believe that in Christ I am a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17).

Take some time today to take some inventory. What things in your life have created the world you live in to justify some of your behaviors and habits? Be careful not to be disappointed in yourself either. That can be a trigger as well. Instead, journal and pray and invite God to be a part of your process of changing this behavior. He will show you, I promise!

Mind Control

As we begin, it's important that we deal with our mind! Our mind really controls everything we do, especially when it comes to eating. If we can "retrain our brain" then we can overcome anything. Romans 12:2 says "And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God." God's will for us is to healthy emotionally, spiritually and physically. So by renewing our mind and how we think about food is really important. 

Be aware of those emotional moments. I know for me I didn't even realize how much I turn to snacks in moments "emotional emergencies." This week take some time to walk and ask God to show you your triggers. Write them down so you will be aware of them. It is important to do some type of exercise. I prefer to walk because it clears my head and it's some good one on one time with God.

I want to pray over you too as we get started:
Dear Heavenly Father, I pray for my friends that as we embark on this journey to emotional, spiritual and physical health that you will help us overcome our bad habits. Instead I pray we grow closer to You and find encouragement with one another. I pray healing from past relationships that have done damage to our souls. I pray for the peace of God to fill us and bring us to a place of wholeness. Thank you Father for leading us. In Jesus name! Amen!
Now lets get healthy!!!

Weighing It Out

Welcome!!! I am so excited about taking this journey together! I think including others in our process keeps us encouraged and focused. When I started out on this journey back in June of 2018, I realized that most of my weight gain was from emotional eating. I find I have controlled eating when I am living a smooth and easy season of life. But when things get difficult and the pain of relationships enter in, then food is my friend and I usually go to it instead of God. I caught myself several times during my first weeks standing in front of the pantry or refrigerator looking for something to satisfy my pain or stress. It doesn't have to be just food. It can be that extra glass of wine or the venti caramel macchiato. 

This past summer, our women's Bible study went through a study called "Pure Love" by Beth Barone. It was perfect timing since I was taking this journey of losing the emotional weight. So much of this weight I have been carrying for years has come from rejection. If you get down to it, that's why most of us are in therapy or counseling anyway. Relationships are key to our existence and purpose. When we've been rejected in anyway, we find a way to heal that wound and in my case it's been through food. As a pastor's wife, the rejection I have faced has been great and often times back to back, which means I haven't even had time to heal from the previous rejection.

Something I learned in the "Pure Love" study, and I should have already known this, was God designed us for relationship! God only created us because He wanted a relationship with us. When Adam and Eve ate the fruit in the garden, God was the first to experience rejection. Thus rejection was introduced into what was a perfect relationship. I have a little joke, "The reason we have to make dinner and do laundry is because Adam asked 'What's for dinner.'" That might be funny, but that truly is the reason all these thousands of years later that we struggle with weight. Yes, there are genetics and DNA, but often the genetics is because it's how we saw our mother or father deal with stress and pain. And most times that's how they saw their parents or parent deal with emotional pain.

The plan of this page is for us to help each other stay on track and encouraged. Share your story of how you overcome an emotional moment and what you did. If you are struggling, write a post and let us keep you encouraged. Please feel free to share as much as you want and I ask that we keep this page private and confidential. Please do not share with others. Lets not use this either as a gossip page. I will try to post topics weekly for us to do some soul searching. As I mentioned this is going to be "faith-based." Sometimes our issue is with God and why did He let ..... happen. We may feel God has rejected us. I have to say, I have felt that way, but that is a lie and He only wants a relationship with us.

If you decide this isn't for you, no worries! Please feel free to leave the group at any time. I won't take it personal. We all process differently and sometimes it's just not time. But for those who want to take the plunge into losing the weight of unforgiveness, then let's do it! 

The first thing you need to do is set some weight loss goals. How much do you want to lose? Take an inventory of what food or drink you to turn to when your are hurting. This is very important because this is our vice. I often find myself hiding chocolate so I can use it in my emotional emergency. Get a journal. You will need to take time throughout the week to unpack some of your pain and stress. One thing you will want to do is on a separate sheet of paper as you go through the process, who or whatever you are letting go of, you will need to write it down. Pray over it by asking God to cover it and remove it from your heart. Forgive the person or situation and the most important thing is to BLESS the person! This is where I found the weight to not only come off physically, but emotionally! Tear it up and throw it away!!! This is symbolic of "letting it go." 

I look forward to the success stories as we journey together. I will be praying for you too as you search your heart. Psalm 51:10 says "Create in me a clean heart O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me." The gain of freedom from losing the emotional weight will be so good not only for your heart physically, but emotionally! Let's make 2019 the year of being healthy, inside and out!